Why Talking to Your Children About the Small Things Makes it Easier to Talk About the Big Things

If you are like most parents, you do your best to be involved in your children’s lives by asking about their day, who they played with at recess, with whom they ate lunch and what their homework is for the night.  You attend their school events, taxi them around to various play dates and parties and do what you can to keep an eye on their emotional and psychological well-being.  Sometimes life gets in the way and you miss an opportunity to dig deeper.  And, as kids age into adolescence, the window for involvement quickly shrinks, and before you know it, the only response you get from your tween or teen is a shrug or an “uh-huh.” Continue reading

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Seeing is Believing: What Your Behavior is Really Telling Your Kids About You

Children pay attention to EVERYTHING.  They use all of their senses to find clarity, safety, certainty, and love when they are around their parents. Children watch you, even when you don’t realize it.

They notice how your tone of voice differs from the words you say, they see how you come home from work and watch who you become, when you get home.  Even though your children live in the “now”, they file away the nonverbal messages you give, and if there is a pattern, they try to figure out how they fit into the equation of why you are acting the way you are acting and sometimes,they wonder why they don’t seem to fit into your behavior at all. Continue reading

The Proof is in the Siblings: 3 Ways Parents Can Ensure Loving Sibling Relationships

Those of us who have brothers and sisters, whether they are biological or step siblings, know that these relationships deeply define us.  Depending on the pecking order, you can be the one held responsible or the one to blame for everything.  You can be the caretaker, the troublemaker, the high achiever, or the quiet one who tends to slip between the cracks.  While the pecking order impacts the relationships we have with our siblings as we grow up, it can change in adulthood. How it evolves results from the value that parents place on family and connectedness along with modeling what connectedness looks like over time.   Continue reading

Hearing is Believing: How Words Can Make or Break Your Kids

Words standing alone, are useless.  When put into a context, matched with  a tone of voice and the underlying intention of the speaker, they can lift you up to the peak of happiness or they can bring you crashing down into the depths of despair.  Words are powerful tools; and when you  use them with your children, you can make or break their spirit; because children listen to what you say. Continue reading

What Every Parent Needs to Know

                                                           

When you become a parent, you are given the most important role you will ever have; to mold another human being from their first breath. You have the amazing ability to influence your child’s thoughts, feelings, behaviors and beliefs about themselves and their world. Life becomes about giving your child the best possible chances in life and doing whatever it takes to raise them to be happy, hopeful, and joyful adults.

You have the power to create a safe and secure environment or one that is fear-based and unreliable.  You are the one who has the chance to teach your child the value or self-respect, resilience, fidelity, respect for others and what it means to be a kind, compassionate and giving person.  You are the one who can ground your child in religion, faith and/or spirituality, or not.  Continue reading

Fantasizing: What a fool believes…. he sees

You remember that song by the Doobie Brothers right?  It talks about this man who believes something about a relationship that really isn’t going to happen.  But, nonetheless, he believes it and therefore, imagines himself in it. Is he really a fool for holding onto his fantasies or would you consider him something else?  Don’t we all do that, at some point or another- cling to fantasies that we think won’t come true- but we do it anyway because, in those magical moments of fantasy,  aren’t we happier? Continue reading

Destiny

You can look… and you will FIND it. 

You can not look… and you WILL find it. 

That which is yours will surely come to you.”

(Daniel Levin)

What is this thing called destiny?  Do you believe that your life has a specific direction and purpose? Do you believe that regardless of how you choose to live your life, that there are forces beyond you that collude, communicate, and contribute to your life without your consent?

“A tapestry of events that culminate into a life plan”….”A pre-determined course of events often held to be an irresistible power”… is this even true? Continue reading