This One Question Will Change Your Life!

I bet you are chomping at the bit to find out what the golden question is that will change your life. I would be( if I didn’t already know the answer).  Doesn’t everyone want to know how to change their life in an instant?

I fully expect that you are going to scroll through the text and see if I have highlighted it, underlined it or italicised it.

Well, don’t bank on finding it so easily. You are going to have to work at decoding it yourself.  What I will do for you is pave the way for you to uncover it and teach you some things as you travel. Deal? Deal.

Look at your life.  What kinds of things have happened, significant events in your life, that have driven your decision-making? (No, this is not the magical question. But it is the starting point for you.)

I ask you to think about this because we are all motivated by only two things:
pain and pleasure.

We do what we can to experience pleasure and do what we can to avoid pain.

Again, look at your life and what you have experienced.

Do you do things each day that bring more pleasure into your life or do you sit around and wonder why your life isn’t working for you and do the things that you can to avoid feeling this way?

Do you find yourself feeling the same way each day?

Are you stuck in your life and ask a whole bunch of “why” questions, to the point that you are asking more of those “why” questions than you are getting answers to?

Questions are powerful.

You might not even know this but, you ask yourself thousands of questions every day, never really answering them all.  And, still, you keep asking them.

But what if you knew that there was an underlying question…. just ONE QUESTION… that you ask every day of you life that shapes how you not only feel about life, but also how your experience it?

What if you knew exactly what that question was?

Do you think it would change your life?

Would you be surprised?  Most likely not.

You see, each of us has ONE QUESTION that underlies all of the other questions we ask ourselves on a daily basis.

Depending on how you feel on a given day, (your state of mind or “state”) you are going to ask yourself different types of questions.

A person who is feeling depressed and sad will ask radically different questions of themselves and about their life than someone who is happy.

If you change your “state”, you totally change how you experience the world.

Changing your “state” is simply about noticing three key elements: Your Triad.
* How you use your physiology (body posture) to reinforce a feeling coming a belief you have.
* What language you use to reinforce your feelings and beliefs (“this is a horrible thing I am faced with versus this is a challenge that I am going to take it head on.”)
* What you emotions and thoughts on which you maintain your focus (feeling good or bad).

Did you know that we “DO” feelings?  They don’t just come about.  We bring them about.

Notice what mood you are in now.  Are you feeling positive and resourceful or are you feeling down in the dumps and hopeless?

Whatever you feel impacts what you believe about yourself and your world.  And how you reinforce what you feel determines how you life continues to be.

So, what is this magical question that will change your life?

Think about what you ask yourself most days.  What can you predict that you will ask yourself each day?

Are they related to your financial situation that you just can’t seem to get out of or a job that you hate going to every day?

Are they connected to the string of failed relationships that you have had that you can’t figure out the “why” of them?

Are to linked to where you are in your life, wishing you were in a different life stage;living the life that always dreamed of?

Now, think of all of the thoughts surrounding these questions.  Thoughts bring with them beliefs.

It all boils down to one belief that you have about yourself.

Just one.

And, if you change this belief about yourself, the belief that has kept you confused, stuck and stagnant, you will change your life completely.

How you evaluate your life is based solely on the questions that you ask and these questions evoke certain feelings, beliefs, body behavior and focus that reinforce your perception of yourself and the world.

Underneath it all, do you feel unworthy? unlucky? unlovable? not good enough?

This is where any problem originates this primary question that you ask yourself everyday, that underlies how you live your life.

Do you feel lucky, happy, hopeful and successful?

Take a moment and look at your life and notice the questions that you ask yourself, silently  or out loud on a consistent basis.

Do they serve you and move your forward or do they keep you in the same soggy place?

When challenged, you have the chance to choose how you respond with your thoughts, actions and focus.

If something happens that you dont’ like, instead of asking, “Why does this always happen to me or why did this happen to me today?” ask yourself,What can I learn from what just happened?” or “What could be beneficial from this?”

Try it.  You will feel an amazing shift in your mood. AND you will have changed the direction of your destiny.

The questions you ask yourself determine your direction in your moment, hour, day and life.

Shift what you ask yourself and you will change your life!

So, what’s your primary question and how is it working for you?

In love and light,
Janis
www.cohenfamilycounseling.com

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