Are You Into Pain or Pleasure?

janis cohen 6

You know what you like. 

It feels good, doesn’t it?

Are you into pain or pleasure?

Now, don’t get confused.

I’m not talking about anything sexual.

I’m talking about what the single driving force that controls all human behavior.

And, this force will continue to control you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE:



It’s just that simple.

So often clients tell me that they want to make changes in their lives but they can’t get themselves to follow through.

(Heck, I’ve even said this at times in my life!)

They feel overwhelmed, frustrated and even angry at themselves because they KNOW they need to take action, but they can’t get themselves to do it.

Here is the problem: they are trying to deal with the effect rather than dealing with the cause behind it.

After all, what is procrastination?  The act of NOT doing something that you KNOW you should do.

So, why do you it?

At some level, you believe that taking action in this moment would be more painful than just putting it off.

Now, you know the feeling when you put something off for so long that you finally feel enough pressure to do something about it?

Well, you changed what you linked to pain and pleasure.

Suddenly, the idea of NOT taking action became more painful than putting it off.

Why haven’t you taken control of your weight?

Why are you still smoking or drinking?

What keeps you from going for that job you really want?

Why do you avoid taking control of your financial situation?

What prevents you from doing whatever it takes to make your life exactly as you have imagined it?

I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

The reason why you haven’t changed that part of your life that you SAY you really want to change is because you associate MORE PAIN with doing what is necessary  than missing the opportunity.

What if you went through the pain of starving yourself, only to gain the weight back eventually anyway?

What if you applied for that dream job, only to get rejected?

What if you made an investment and lost your money?

So, why even try?

For most people, the FEAR OF LOSS is much greater than the desire for gain.

Anthony Robbins said,

“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you.  If you do that, you’re in control of your life.  If you don’t, life controls you.”

Here is the million dollar question:
Why is it that people can experience pain yet fail to change?

  Answer: They haven’t experienced enough pain yet and haven’t hit their pain threshold.

When the pain gets too much it befriends us, driving us to take a new action for a different result.

Did you know that what you link to pain and what you link to pleasure shapes your destiny?

So, if you link massive pain to something then you will actively avoid indulging in it.

Think about smoking.  Once you link enough pain to smoking and enough pleasure to quitting smoking, then your relationship to it changes and you stop smoking.

Just go talk to someone who has quite any addiction and they will tell you that it may be tough, some days, to resist the urge, but when they do, they feel incredibly victorious! 

THAT is the pain- pleasure currency that we all have to exchange with ourselves.

When we have enough fear associated with something, we become driven to either keep a behavior or eliminate it.

So, what will it take for you to feel enough pain about the thing you KNOW you SHOULD change but haven’t?

Losing your money? Losing your family? Almost losing your life?

At what point are you willing to say, “I’m done settling.  Never again.  Things HAVE to change!”

Pain and pleasure.

Which one are you into?













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