Practicing Patience When All You Want To Do Is Hold On Tightly

janis cohen17

“Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength.” ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

How do you practice patience when you want something to happen so badly that your heart aches?

How do you tell yourself to wait, when all you want to do is force the unseen to make itself known?

Patience is truly difficult to have some days, isn’t it?

You can be the most positive person in the world for others and be the most challenging person to yourself.

I am that person.

The one who, genuinely, breathes positive and uplifting air for myself and others.

And, yet, I have days where,  what I need most, patience, is out of stock.

If patience is actually a sign of strength, then how do you find it when you really need it; when you feel your weakest?


THIS, is the missing link to finding patience when you are in the midst of internal chaos.

Let’s talk about faith.

Anyone who has faith will tell you that it is different from hope.

Hope is when you WISH something would happen but have doubts.

Faith is holding the BELIEF that what you want to happen, or need to happen for you, WILL HAPPEN.

So many of us THINK we have faith, when we are only coming from a place of hope.

Faith’s magically seductive quality is delicious.

It signals us that we believe that something greater than us is taking care of WHATEVER situation exists.

The hard part can be believing that when you have fallen off the “faith wagon.”

Sometimes having faith means that your “bigger than me thing” in which you believe is actually YOU.

Ever think about that?

What IF the very thing that faith asks of us, is to believe in ourselves first, allowing for all things to happen as they are meant to?

How do you have faith in yourself when you feel disillusioned because you feel as though your life isn’t how you imagined it to be?

How do you have faith in yourself, and in something greater than yourself, when you feel like you have spent your WHOLE LIFE WAITING for the right things to happen and it seems as though you are on the same old path?

It’s not often, but I find myself in doubt.

In doubt of what’s to come.

And, when I get into this space, I KNOW that I have fallen off  the “in faith” track.

It means, that I neglect to look at everything that has happened in my life because I have discounted it’s usefulness and impact.

It means that I have chosen to take a very narrow view of my world, fostering only selfishness, criticism, and unforgiveness of myself.

Everything in life matters.

Everyone in your life serves a purpose.

Everything that you WISH had happened but didn’t,  didn’t happen because it’s absence served you more than it’s existence.

And, everything that is to come MUST be unknown.

How else could we experience te joy and pain pain that life brings and the lessons from those highs and lows, if we already KNEW it was coming?



Each can be elusive.


And, each can be the primary signal that you have neglected to take stock of you life; of what you have already experienced and what you have RIGHT IN THIS MOMENT!

There is something torturous and relieving in letting go of the outcome.

Let go or be dragged.” (Zen proverb)


Let go or be dragged.

Notice that when you are forcing the universe’s will, you are in pain and when you let go, and allow……….aka………practice patience…………life is easier.

THAT is what patience is about.

Each of us has the strength to let go in the face of our desperate need to hold on tight.

So, exhale please.

Remember that faith in YOURSELF FIRST propels everything.

It is the turnstile that creates movement in your life.

I recently heard of two definitions of the acronym F.E.A.R.

It can either mean Face Everything And RUN or it can mean

                                 Face Everything And RISE.

Which do you choose?

To run or rise?

Patience my friend, patience.

It is the very thing that helps you make this ONE choice that can make or break the quality of your life.





One response

  1. I have noticed that during those times requiring patience and faith, it is helpful to carefully look around your life and pay attention to coincidences that relate to your issue. For instance, if you’re longing for human love and connection, you may hear a song lyric on your iPod that reminds you to “hold on loosely, but don’t let go. If you cling too tightly, you might lose control”. Okay, I just dated myself, but that’s a song about romantic love and walking the delicate balance between embracing the joy of loving another and the insecurities and doubt of love that makes us grasp too desperately.

    That’s just one example of possible message-filled coincidence, but the messages we need nowadays have many more portals to reach us. If you are struggling with patience, ask for answers then watch and listen closely. The answers you need will keep coming to you until you receive them.

    I find the experience helpful, calming and faith-building. You are not alone and if you make yourself ready to receive the answers – whether they are the ones you want or not – you make yourself more prepared to move toward your goals with fearless wisdom.

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