It’s never what you expect.
In many cases, you don’t want it to happen.
After all, you have no idea what change will look like and what you are supposed to do with it once it happens.
Your sense of safety and certainty is threatened.
You have no control over it and that is terrifying to most people.
It’s elusive but it’s exactly what you need.
As many of you know, I am a therapist and I help people, of all ages, navigate through change.
As many of you know, I am also a person and I experience change myself.
And change, at times, scares me too. Even if I have done a great deal of work on staying present, grounded, and in faith.
I push and pull just like you do to keep some things unchanged.
But, guess what? It doesn’t work.
Change is inevitable. Even if you act like it isn’t or you believe you don’t want it.
It’s a life force that keeps you on your toes.
It shapes you. Converts you. Molds you. Transforms you.
It is necessary. It is valuable.
It is wildly out of your control and it smiles back at you once it happens.
It extends a hefty invitation to the grand ballroom of your life.
It is the light on the other side of the door.
It’s the winning lottery ticket.
It is, and always will be, your most prominent companion on your life’s journey.
But what if you don’t want change?
You’re not alone.
Here’s the deal folks. You can either embrace it or you can fight against it.
But that choice determines how long it takes for you to move through it, understand it, and use it for your highest good.
Change scares the hell out of most people. I know. I have been there!
Only within the past several years have I learned to welcome the new.
Prior to that, change has been painful. It hurt. Really hurt because those things that changed didn’t fit in with what I wanted.
It took too may things away. Or so I thought.
Until I stopped pushing back.
Most people will spend their lifetimes believing that life happens “to” or “at” them; as if some malicious force is out to get them.
The truth is that everything that happens in your life is “for” you.
Once you get that, your life will feel easier, lighter, and more pleasant.
If you take a moment to look back at your life, much of the change that happened wasn’t ‘per your request’.
In fact, it was unexpected, undesired, and unmanageable at first.
Then you realized that the change that happened wasn’t going to change.
It was there to stay.
And there you were. At the crossroads of ” I don’t want this” and “Ok, now what?”
It was in that moment, at that fork in the road that you made a choice.
What did you do? Did you welcome it or reject it out of fear? And, what came after that?
From the minute shifts in your day to the massive movements in your life, you were (and still are) presented with the fork in the road scenario; to roll with the changes or to stay stuck.
It takes courage to embrace change. Especially when it threatens our sense of safety.
You want a relationship to stay the same. You want to keep your job. You want to maintain your routine.
Change isn’t about what you want.
Not at all!
Change is about what you NEED.
And, It takes faith to welcome change.
On a scale of 0-10; where “0” is I never want to embrace change and “10” is I am fully ready to embrace change, where do you stand?
If you aren’t at a “10”, what would it take for you to get there?
What you do need to let go of to be in a receptive state?
If you need to let go of the belief that change is harmful and scary, then let it go.
Just because you don’t know what the outcome might be doesn’t mean it won’t be the best thing to happen for you in the long run.
If you need to look back into the rear view mirror in your life and gather the data that shows you that the change you have experienced has proven itself to be an open door to a better life, then go ahead. Do that.
Change isn’t meant to be easy much of the time.
It’s meant to shake things up, to challenge your belief system and break you open so that you can be more, do more, and give more.
It is your ally even when you don’t want it in your life.
Every day you are at a fork in the road.
You are given options all of the time.
Are you stuck on right and wrong? Are you haunted by the need to please others? Do you need to feel in control much of the time?
Break through these barriers and change will feel differently to you.
It won’t feel like scalding hot water.
It will feel like it makes sense.
“Change how you feel about things and the things you feel about change.”
~ Janis Cohen
As you encounter your forks in the road, I pray that you will remember this quote and connect with your capacity to overcome any obstacle and move through any change.
Make it easy on yourself. Work with change instead of against it.
You never know what can happen.