Don’t know your destiny? Change your direction and find out.

 

janis cohen change your direction

For many, the idea that they have a direct influence on their destiny can feel overwhelming; almost debilitating.

It’s not as complicated as you might think, though.

You see, changing your destiny doesn’t require taking massive actions all of the time.

All that your destiny asks of you is that you change one thing when you begin to form a relationship with it.

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My Giving is Just as Good as Your Giving.

gift in hand

Comparing ourselves to others is natural.  We can’t help it.

We notice how other people look, what they drive, how much money they have, their social status, academic accomplishments, and degree of public notoriety (among many other things) and compare ourselves to them; noticing what we have or lack.

We, then, come to one of these assumptions:
1. I am, have, do enough and therefore I am happy.
2. I am mediocre, need to do more, and therefore I feel ok about me/my life.
3. I am not enough and therefore I am unhappy. Continue reading

“Ok, now what?” How a 16 year old girl changed her life in minutes.

janis cohen 28

Like a deer in headlights.  That’s what she looked like.

Eyes open wide and completely unsure of what to expect.

She had never done this before and it showed.

And, when asked if she had, she answered with only a head shake from side to side, eyes locked on mine.

The timer was set.

Pressing start, we began.

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The Ball Is In Your Court

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

(The poem, “IF” by Rudyard Kipling)

Your Last Lecture

If you were giving your last lecture- your best piece of advice for appreciating life- what would it be?

Most of us assume that people, who are facing old age or death, tend to be the ones who reflect on what has happened in their lives.  Not true. Self-reflection is not for those who are aging or dying; it is for all of us to practice regularly, not when we are faced with the end of something or are injured. Continue reading