Fantasizing: What a fool believes…. he sees

You remember that song by the Doobie Brothers right?  It talks about this man who believes something about a relationship that really isn’t going to happen.  But, nonetheless, he believes it and therefore, imagines himself in it. Is he really a fool for holding onto his fantasies or would you consider him something else?  Don’t we all do that, at some point or another- cling to fantasies that we think won’t come true- but we do it anyway because, in those magical moments of fantasy,  aren’t we happier? Continue reading

Lie Number 4

Really?  That’s all you have to say?  Lie number four focuses on the “easy out” you give yourself when you are asked to explain why something has happened. Even when people are voluntarily in a therapeutic setting, this is the first thing that flies out of their mouth when inquiry occurs about an obstacle.   This lie is regurgitated so often and by so many, that saying it somehow becomes acceptable.  Kids do it all the time when they don’t want to get in trouble after they have gotten caught for doing something they shouldn’t have.   But this lie, as adults use it, isn’t about getting caught; it’s about what you are willing to do to uncover what lies beneath and defines how willing you are to be honest with yourselfCheck out lie number four. Continue reading