Lie Number 3

 

Today’s lie is brought to you by the number 3.  THIS lie focuses on how you define your worth and value.  We all, at one ,or many points in our lives, define ourselves by things and others.  How often have you said this to yourself?

Completeness comes from external experiences and validation from others.

If my boss praises me, then I am valuable. ” ” If someone loves me, then I am significant.” ” If I get this job, then I am qualified.”  You might believe that one or all of these things can fill you up internally, but they really don’t.  The satisfaction you get from them won’t be permanent, if you aren’t able to feel valuable, significant, and loved on your own. Continue reading

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Lie Number 2

You say you want certain things to happen in your life, but somehow, life gets in the way.  Here is lie #2.  Let me know how often you find yourself using this one.

  I can’t do “X” because I  don’t have enough time, money, or energy to do it.

These are the top reasons why people generally fail to accomplish what they say they say they want to accomplish.  These reasons are convenient, sound good and are used by most people on which they seat their ” I can’ts.”

I often share this quote with clients who are unsure of where they really stand when it comes to making changes in their lives: “When someone is interested in something, they do what’s convenient.  When someone is committed to something, they do whatever it takes.”  Usually, after hearing this, clients realize which side of the committment fence they stand; on the side of interest or urgency.

Those who know what urgency looks like, feels like, and tastes like, are so convicted and stand in such a level of certainty that what they say will happen actually does!

Check your salivary glands; if you aren’t drooling with desire  about this thing that you are trying to do, then you are simply interested.  If you have to keep wiping your mouth, then you are committed.  🙂

Remedy:  If interest is what you have and you want to feel more committed, see if you can identify what is lacking that prevents you from feeling zesty about it. Then find out what how you can add what lacks into the equation.  If you truly can’t figure out what it would take to be committed, then what you say you want, really isn’t what you want.  Give this want some shelf-time and move onto something else that you feel passionate about.  You can always revisit your list of wants.

If you are someone who frequently uses an “I can’t”, which of these excuses do you use and  what type of fear underscores your “I can’t?”  Is it possible, then, for you to find out how to replace the fear component with confidence, faith and committment? If so, what would that look like and how can you make that happen?

You now have an awareness of how you lie to yourself in this way.  No more denial about it.  Simply acknowledge that you really don’t have a desire to make something happen or that you are scared to make a move.  We all know the infamous saying: “The first step to healing from your problem is admitting that you have one.”  It’s ok to admit that you really don’t want to do something or that something holds you back.  It’s also ok to be scared about the unknown.

Remember this, if you don’t take a risk you will never know what the outcome could be.

In love and light,

Janis

www.cohenfamilycounseling.com

Lies We Tell Ourselves

Truth be told, we lie to ourselves more often than we realize.  We rationalize, justify, and defend what we believe, think, and do, so that we can make our life ok when it isn’t , to impress someone, or to be accepted.

I bet you don’t even realize how often you lie to yourself.  We all do it.   Pretty soon, the accumulation of these little white lies becomes your re-written truth.

Here are some examples of lies you might tell yourself and others: Continue reading