He is 45 year old man who moved back home with his parents five years ago because his attempts to financially support himself failed, once again. He is incredibly handsome, is kind, generous, and good-hearted. He even earned his doctorate but just can’t seem to get a business off the ground.
He is unable to disconnect from his mother and she is unable to disconnect from him.
His mother’s way of loving him was by making him totally self-reliant on her, even though she encourages him to act independently. Her efforts are underscored with emotional messages that tell him not to go too far away from her.
His parents have been married for over 50 years. His mother is a strong personality and his father, passive.
She pays his bills, issues checks to him, looks at his credit card statements, makes decisions for him, and offers unsolicited advice to him.
He met a wonderful woman several years ago, fell in love and became engaged. All too soon his fiance’ realized that not only did he lack the drive to be a provider but also, that his mother was heavily involved with him on a daily basis. She also realized that he was doing nothing to change that dynamic.
She broke off the engagement and,to this day, despite her numerous explanations, he does not understand why.
He had some learning challenges as a young boy and stutters at times.
He finds himself struggling internally with his desire to grow and be his own man, but doesn’t realize that he has not been able to get out from under the neurotic needs of his mother; needs that have become his own.
Unfortunately, he will not allow himself to see the dysfunction in his relationship with his mother. He has been immobilized by his mother’s need to be needed. Continue reading