Betrayed? 7 Things You Need to Know to Heal

janis cohen betrayal

“Betrayal is the only truth that sticks.”
~ Arthur Miller

You are in a relationship or are dating someone and feel confident (or mostly confident) that all is well.

Sure, you encounter challenges, but every relationship has them, right?

One day, you find something out that you can’t ‘un-know’.

You feel like you have just been sucker punched in the gut and your body shakes in confirmation.  You’ve been betrayed.

Your world has shifted in an unexpected direction.

What do you do now?

Continue reading

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Inner Strength: Do You Have It?

janis cohen inner strength

“We may get knocked down on the outside, but the key to living in victory is to learn how to get up on the inside.”
~ Joel Osteen

I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past.

It’s just that simple.

If you consider yourself a resilient person, then you know exactly what I am talking about.

You know what you have been through and know who you are because of it all.

Inner strength doesn’t come from external forces.  It doesn’t come from modeling others’ behavior or using words that others use to sound strong.

It doesn’t come from empty mantra’s or stickers on your fridge that tell you “It’s all good.”

Inner strength is earned and is the direct result of what you choose to focus on, what meaning it has, and what you are going to do about it. Continue reading

My Giving is Just as Good as Your Giving.

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Comparing ourselves to others is natural.  We can’t help it.

We notice how other people look, what they drive, how much money they have, their social status, academic accomplishments, and degree of public notoriety (among many other things) and compare ourselves to them; noticing what we have or lack.

We, then, come to one of these assumptions:
1. I am, have, do enough and therefore I am happy.
2. I am mediocre, need to do more, and therefore I feel ok about me/my life.
3. I am not enough and therefore I am unhappy. Continue reading

Why Waiting is Worth It

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Waiting.

It can be excruciatingly painful.

It’s that grey space that most everyone finds terrifying, terrible and chaotic.

It is the ultimate test of patience, endurance and stamina.

It is the ultimate predictor of how your pessimism or optimism plays into your ability to cope.

It is the ultimate exposure of the degree of your faith in yourself and in a higher power.

So, what are you supposed to DO while you wait? Continue reading

Why Being Single On Valentine’s Day Is AWESOME!!!

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Let’s just put it out there. 

If you’re single on Valentine’s day, you probably think, to some degree, that it sucks!

What, with all of the cards, pink and red hearts, commercials about love equaling a jewelry purchase, and fancy chocolates, it makes sense.

It’s the dreaded day that you just want to go away!

Well, what if I were to tell you that NOT having someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with doesn’t have to feel so insanely painful.

In fact, it can be downright AWESOME!!!!

Wouldn’t you want to know why? Continue reading

Your unconditional love for your children has conditions: What are your “parental deal breakers?”

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Almost every parent tells their child, “I  want you to be happy.”

But do you REALLY mean it? Continue reading

The Lesson

It’s part of life, this lesson learning thing we have to do to grow. The way we learn isn’t always wrapped up in a beautiful bow, but it sure does come wrapped up, doesn’t it?  Almost disguised, it seems.

Everyone has their own soul lessons to learn.

For some, it is to learn to have love and compassion for yourself and others, because you have been too harsh.  For others it is to learn humility because you have been arrogant, boastful or indignant. Continue reading

Mama’s Boys and Their Mamas

He is 45 year old man who moved back home with his parents five years ago because his attempts to financially support himself failed, once again.  He is incredibly handsome, is kind, generous, and good-hearted. He even earned his doctorate but just can’t seem to get a business off the ground.

He is unable to disconnect from his mother and she is unable to disconnect from him.

His mother’s way of loving him was by making him totally self-reliant on her, even though she encourages him to act independently.  Her efforts are underscored with emotional messages that tell him not to go too far away from her.

His parents have been married for over 50 years.  His mother is a strong personality and his father, passive.

She pays his bills, issues checks to him, looks at his credit card statements, makes decisions for him, and offers unsolicited advice to him.

He met a wonderful woman several years ago, fell in love and became engaged. All too soon his fiance’ realized that not only did he lack the drive to be a provider but also, that his mother was heavily involved with him on a daily basis.  She also realized that he was doing nothing to change that dynamic.

She broke off the engagement and,to this day, despite her numerous explanations,  he does not understand why.

He had some learning challenges as a young boy and stutters at times.

He finds himself struggling internally with his desire to grow and be his own man, but doesn’t realize that he has not been able to get out from under the neurotic needs of his mother; needs that have become his own.

Unfortunately, he will not allow himself to see the dysfunction in his relationship with his mother.  He has been immobilized by his mother’s need to be needed.  Continue reading

Never Be Afraid of The Truth Because It Will Never Hurt You.

Truth is your best friend.  It is said that “the truth hurts,” but the only thing the truth hurts is illusions.  The truth is the dispeller of deception; bring any situation into the light, and you can rest assured that there is good within it.

Once you align yourself with this idea, you will never again be afraid to hear truth, see truth, know truth or live in truth. In fact, when you are in alignment with truth, you are at peace, regardless of what surfaces; for truth sets you free. Continue reading

How to Keep Your Heart Open to Love

I don’t know who originally wrote this, but when I read it, I knew I had to share this with you.  Read it from a religious or spiritual perspective, whichever suits you.  But, at the very least, read it.

And as you read it (and I recommend that you do this daily), breathe in the truth of these words and notice if they open up any more space inside of you to enjoy what you have in the present, even as you joyfully anticipate what the future holds. Continue reading