Betrayed? 7 Things You Need to Know to Heal

janis cohen betrayal

“Betrayal is the only truth that sticks.”
~ Arthur Miller

You are in a relationship or are dating someone and feel confident (or mostly confident) that all is well.

Sure, you encounter challenges, but every relationship has them, right?

One day, you find something out that you can’t ‘un-know’.

You feel like you have just been sucker punched in the gut and your body shakes in confirmation.  You’ve been betrayed.

Your world has shifted in an unexpected direction.

What do you do now?

Continue reading

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Your Agreement and The Sacrifice

janis cohen 3

She needed her car.

She had to get around town.

Her tire was blown and the rim was shot.

She has no family. A few friends. No partner.  No kids.  And, very little money.

She really needed her car.

Somehow, she found a way; she finally maxed out her credit card.

She fixed it all.  She had her car back.

But she was still broke financially and in emotional pain. Continue reading

When Someone Shows You Who They Are the First Time, Believe Them: How Paying Attention to the Red Flags in Any Relationship Will Keep You Safe

You know you have done this; noticed something about someone, when you initially meet them, that causes you to furrow your brow and feel uneasy but then brushed it aside.  We have all done that, at one time or another.

Whether it’s a new friend or in a new dating relationship, the red flags are always there from the beginning.  The challenge you face is whether or not you are going to honor yourself enough to acknowledge what you already know or whether you will choose to ignore the warning signs and put yourself in harms’ way. Continue reading

Why Talking to Your Children About the Small Things Makes it Easier to Talk About the Big Things

If you are like most parents, you do your best to be involved in your children’s lives by asking about their day, who they played with at recess, with whom they ate lunch and what their homework is for the night.  You attend their school events, taxi them around to various play dates and parties and do what you can to keep an eye on their emotional and psychological well-being.  Sometimes life gets in the way and you miss an opportunity to dig deeper.  And, as kids age into adolescence, the window for involvement quickly shrinks, and before you know it, the only response you get from your tween or teen is a shrug or an “uh-huh.” Continue reading

Seeing is Believing: What Your Behavior is Really Telling Your Kids About You

Children pay attention to EVERYTHING.  They use all of their senses to find clarity, safety, certainty, and love when they are around their parents. Children watch you, even when you don’t realize it.

They notice how your tone of voice differs from the words you say, they see how you come home from work and watch who you become, when you get home.  Even though your children live in the “now”, they file away the nonverbal messages you give, and if there is a pattern, they try to figure out how they fit into the equation of why you are acting the way you are acting and sometimes,they wonder why they don’t seem to fit into your behavior at all. Continue reading

The Proof is in the Siblings: 3 Ways Parents Can Ensure Loving Sibling Relationships

Those of us who have brothers and sisters, whether they are biological or step siblings, know that these relationships deeply define us.  Depending on the pecking order, you can be the one held responsible or the one to blame for everything.  You can be the caretaker, the troublemaker, the high achiever, or the quiet one who tends to slip between the cracks.  While the pecking order impacts the relationships we have with our siblings as we grow up, it can change in adulthood. How it evolves results from the value that parents place on family and connectedness along with modeling what connectedness looks like over time.   Continue reading

I found you…

~~Love After Love~~

The time will come when,

with elation you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, Sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was yourself.

Give wine.  Give Bread.  Give back your heart to itself,

to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored for another,

who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit.  Feast on your life.

 

Derek Walcott~Author

In love and light,

Janis

www.cohenfamilycounseling.com

Gene Simmons, the Eulogy and the Coffin

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life.  A man who lives fully is prepared to die at anytime.”
Mark Twain.

Gene Simmons’s show, Family Jewels, is a reality show; and a very interesting one at that.  In last night’s episode, he and his  future wife, at the time it was taped, Shannon, attended a program called “The Marriage Boot Camp.”  This program was designed to break through the barriers that prevents couples from finding true happiness and fosters emotional intimacy.

The major issue for Gene and Shannon was his infidelity, which had been heavily hidden throughout their 28 year relationship.  Only recently was his cheating behavior discovered, as photos of him, being with other women, were leaked to the internet. Continue reading